Reflections – Monday, June 6, 2016

Carol A. Hand

When you don’t’ realize I’m looking – on our peaceful days
I see your bright inner beauty momentarily shining through
It clouds over in an instant when you sense my gaze
transforming into fierce self-loathing, fear, and anger anew

You can’t see the gifts you carry – an invaluable treasure
You strike out at those who have something you want or think you lack
It seems to bring you gratification and pleasure
Yet, the cost for destroying others’ sense of peace and happiness
cuts most deeply in your own heart and spirit
I wish I could be a mirror to reflect the beauty I see and understand
But I’ve learned that you cannot hear it

You need to find it for yourself, or not, and give it voice
My heart breaks as I detach and grow silent – my loving choice
The gifts I would give you I must share from afar
because they only seem to deepen your disappointment
with what you have and who you are

clown me

Photo: Celebrating Life a Long Time Ago

for those who need to silence truth and oppress others

***

 Copyright Notice: © Carol A. Hand and carolahand, 2013-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Carol A. Hand and carolahand with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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About Carol A. Hand

What matters are not the titles I’ve held or university degrees I earned or the size of a house or bank account. It’s really what I’ve learned from ordinary people like me whom I’ve met along the way. They taught me to live with gratitude and give thanks for each new day.
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23 Responses to Reflections – Monday, June 6, 2016

  1. Bernadette says:

    These words are so sad. But I guess we both know the only way to find self worth is to discover it for yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Norman Pilon says:

    Nice! And that is something, I think, than anyone who has a grasp of the contingencies into which we are all born, eventually comes to:

    “I wish I could be a mirror to reflect the beauty I see and understand
    But I’ve learned that you cannot hear it”

    As painful as it is, sometimes walking away or falling silent is all that you yourself can truly do . . . if only communication were possible . . . but alas, it is not. . .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your thoughts and insights are greatly appreciated, Norman. This is something I’m only learning to understand now. Like the child I once was, I often live with focus and intensity without realizing how intimidating this may be to others. I forget that others may not see their many strengths. Instead of looking within, those who are motivated by external rewards try to tear down and destroy others, often without appearing to be aware that that’s what they’re doing when they feel insecure. In my experience, kindness just makes the situation worse. It probably looks like dishonesty or condescending pity…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. smilecalm says:

    thank you for sharing
    what feel real & true, Carol!
    perhaps one day no one
    will be hurt enough
    to hurt others.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Buster's Two Cents and commented:
    An unhappy poem from someone who always writes about hope and love.
    Unfortunately, necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful, Carol, sad but necessarily true.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ken Dowell says:

    Yes it is sad, but thoughtful, pensive and insightful as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Ken. I appreciate your thoughtful comments a great deal. It is difficult to know if it is wise to publish something that carries deep, honest sadness in times such as these.

      Like

  7. wolfegeo says:

    Carol I only know you from what you share on this site. However, I feel that you have an intellect and inner beauty (an awareness) that allows you to reach out and touch people’s hearts. Reading this poem I realized there were times when I could be both subjects in this poem. This could be me talking to myself. The walls created by years of abuse are hard to surmount even if they prevent us from being truly happy and acknowledging our own inner beauty.

    Unfortunately there are those in the world “who need to silence truth and oppress others”. I hope I never do so… but more so I hope I have the inner strength needed to prevent them from hardening my heart. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maria, thank you so much for sharing your honest, deep, and thoughtful insights. We are all capable of both hurting others and being hurt because of past wounds and resulting insecurities. Becoming conscious of the choices we face and making the right ones are ongoing challenges.

      Recently, I have been rereading random selections from a book before I fall asleep – The Tao of Inner Peace (Dreher, 1991). I’ve continued to reflect about how to apply one of the verses – “The Tao person, detached and wise, Embraces all as Tao.” It reminds me of an Ojibwe tenet of the path of life – “Be moderate in all things. Watch, listen and consider: your deeds will be prudent.” Reflecting on these wise words helps keep me aware, but the choices are still challenges as you so eloquently point out…

      Like

  8. You are a mirror and you do give back amazingly kind and loving reflections, Carol. The problem is the seer doesn’t want to see YET. But keep holding up the mirror and one day it will be viewed and subsequently sought for its clarity and truth. We should never silence truth or oppress others. You possess an inner light that others need. Some however get lost in the darkness fow a while but a shining light cannot be ignored forever. Shine on sweet lady and continue being the beautiful candle in the darkness that you are. Love and hugs, Natalie 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A powerful poem, Carol. It’s sad and tragic that so many mirrors are clouded by fear, and the ones who gaze at their reflections are blind to their own light and beauty. That fear is righteous and ugly, frightening and aggressive and it colors every facet of perception. Your ability, Carol, to see the light in those fearful souls is a reflection of the clarity of your own mirror. What a brighter view when you can perceive and reflect your own light. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Tiny says:

    Loving insight into a sad situation. Powerful food for thought, Carol.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Aquileana says:

    Beautiful poem involving genuine introspective search and personal discovery… I truly liked this one, dear Carol… thanks for sharing… love and best wishes to you. Aquileana 🌟

    Liked by 1 person

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