Somedays, I Wonder What Is True

Carol A. Hand

“Love …. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.” (Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 2002, p. 11)

Sky Over Washington Monument
Sky Over Washington Monument

A strange message passes through my mind as I greet the morning.

“I sent my children, prophets, to many nations. They walked the earth teaching peace and love, working miracles to show the power you have within to heal others and create beauty.

“And look what happened. Self-proclaimed priests arose to oppress the people to acquire ever more power and riches. You built golden temples while children went hungry. You fought bloody wars for centuries and destroyed the earth to prove your prophet was the one that was true. Your priests grew fat from others’ labor, ever richer and more powerful while so many died.

“This time, I decided to do something different. Reverse psychology if you will. This time, I sent my children to sow fear and hatred. Maybe this time you’ll unite and apply the lessons I intended for you to learn so many years ago.

“The answer to peace lies within. It’s the responsibility of each one of you to find the path to love and peace.

“Don’t follow those who will merely use you to enrich and elevate themselves. Stand together and create a world where no children die before they have realized their full promise and lived a full life filled with joy.”

Knowing what happens to those who share messages others don’t want to hear, I question the wisdom of posting this. Yet the muse that visits won’t let me rest easy until I take the risk to share what was lovingly given.

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54 thoughts on “Somedays, I Wonder What Is True”

  1. Carol, I feel that when we trust the muse or spirit by expressing what we get, we become stronger, more resolute and peaceful – all at once. Thank you for sharing this lovely writing. The more we go within and not allow ourselves to be triggered, we are better able to observe rather than being triggered, affected or upset by the external events. I find the sun, the breezes and the promise of Spring to be calming in these stormy times. Blessings to you, dear Carol.

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  2. There are some of us who not only like to hear such messages, but who learn from them, and thus grow our own wisdom and the power to share our own “messages” in time. Please keep writing, Carol.

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  3. “The answer to peace lies within. It’s the responsibility of each one of you to find the path to love and peace.

    “Don’t follow those who will merely use you to enrich and elevate themselves. Stand together and create a world where no children die before they have realized their full promise and lived a full life filled with joy.”

    Believe it or not, Carol, this speaks to what burns in my heart and mind. I once thought I knew the “muse”, but he, as it turned out, was only what the priests in golden temples were selling to gain more wealth and power. I was taken in, like so many others, and did the priests’ bidding. And I am still recovering from this, even though I walked away from the lie sixteen years ago.

    I still believe in a creator, a muse, but I have yet to come to know where I stand with he/she/it, and what he/she/it is all about. But your first sentence, above, is what I have been contemplating for a long time now. And when I allow myself to rest in this, I can finally find some rest and peace. But these times seem to be few and far apart.

    Perhaps, many eons ago, the worldly powers that be set out to blind our ancestors to the peace and power for good that lies within every human being? And if so, there will be no savior coming, nor needed, to save us, except our selves.

    Your muse is right, Carol, it is our responsibility, each one of us, to find the path and walk it, and then maybe, we will have the power to effect change for the good, corporately.

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      1. I’m sorry you have been ill, Carol. I hope you are better now?

        And no need for apologies!!

        Illness seems to be the order of the day, for you, me and many of the people I know. Perhaps, this illness comes from living in this world at the moment?

        Take care of yourself!

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  4. P.S.

    Almost five years ago, a still, small inner-voice spoke to me, and said, “David, live your life. Love. And trust me.” I have shared this with my friends, but they just look at me like I’m crazy. I don’t believe I am crazy, by the way, I’m just having a very difficult time following the muse’s advice/instruction.

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    1. Ah, you’re not crazy, Dave, your friends are 🙂 It’s a gift to have an inner voice that shares such wise and true advice. But it’s hard to live lovingly and trustfully anytime. It makes one vulnerable in a world that’s not always safe or kind. But I honestly wonder if life is worth living without loving.

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  5. It is in sharing such things that we all learn and grow. Because man/woman unleahed good and evil upon the world, it has always been that way and always will be that way which means there are “rotten apples” in all the “barrels” of life. Even those who profess to live righteously and peacefully are not exempt for trespassing against others. That does NOT mean that any of us should stop striving the make the world a better place by teaching our children and others to love and cherish each other and the earth. As you know, Carol, I’ve chosen to believe in, trust, and follow Jesus as my Savior and Salvation. I did this after years of struggling with the things you have mentioned here. Everything I’ve witnessed along the way of my now seven decades of living has shown me that underneath it all there is a rhyme and reason to this thing we call life even though it is hard and often evil and unjust. There have been enough miracles and sheer goodness along the way for me to lose hope even though I went through a time being very cynical and sad about the state of affairs in living and loving. But there is a light that beckoned to me and it continues to show me that I must do my part in trying to make a difference. Here’s a poem that I read a long time ago and keep it close at hand as it helps me to hold onto the things I’ve just said. Love, hugs, and blessings Natalie

    Once upon a time there was a wise man
    who used to go to the ocean
    to do his writing.
    He had a habit of walking
    on the beach
    before he began his work.
    One day he was walking
    along the shore.
    As he looked down the beach,
    he saw a human
    figure moving like a dancer.
    He smiled to himself to think
    of someone who would
    dance to the day.
    So he began to walk faster
    to catch up.
    As he got closer, he saw
    that it was a young man
    and the young man wasn’t dancing,
    but instead he was reaching
    down to the shore,
    picking up something
    and very gently throwing it
    into the ocean.
    As he got closer he called out,
    “Good morning! What are you doing?”
    The young man paused,
    looked up and replied,
    “Throwing starfish in the ocean.”
    “I guess I should have asked,
    why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?”
    “The sun is up and the tide is going out.
    And if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
    “But, young man, don’t you realize that
    there are miles and miles of beach
    and starfish all along it.
    You can’t possibly make a difference!”
    The young man listened politely.
    Then bent down, picked up another starfish
    and threw it into the sea,
    past the breaking waves and said-
    “It made a difference for that one.”

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    1. I appreciate your comments, Dr. B. Although I love Gibran’s work, the use of “he” is something that I notice, too. But given that he is a Lebanese poet who published The Prophet in 1923, I just see it as an unquestioned convention of his time.

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      1. Just for fun here: many languages “genderize” nouns. Love (amour) in French is masculine. So we would say, “un amour” for love, but if it referred to a person, we have “un amoureux” for a man in love, “une amoureuse” for a woman in love because now the “love” part is no longer a noun but an adjective being defined by the gender of the one in love. It makes a fun exercise to follow through the various nouns and discover their “gender” if your mother tongue is Latin based. Mine is French. For example, a book is masculine, but a letter is feminine. A glass is masculine, a cup is feminine… wine is masculine but beer is feminine… and so on. How do we know? It seems we just do-it’s automatic and instant, never any hesitation.

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  6. Wow. I am always so deeply moved and my thoughts provoked from each of your posts. Thank you, Carol. Your insights are like a lightning rod in these times, grounding, gently provoking like the wind, full. Thank you.

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  7. Hi Carol, I read your post several times. It is troubled times. Is it worse than before? I am not sure. Do our actions contribute to the suffering around the world? Would it be easier, smarter even, to conform? Will our children follow our lead into the same, either repressed or repressing? I don’t know the answers to any of it. I do know that love is an investment. My children somehow still want me around and listen to me. Our grandchildren, Carol, around this large campfire, your handsome young man and my little boy, will get used to us nudging them. If we have done our job, they will be able to fight if tried, but with our help, will have learned to love the earth, the sky and all the people they meet. It is simple but hard. There is a bunch on the right, and left and some between yapping. They want to distract us from what’s important. It is damn cold tonight. Venus is still up here, but more than likely, disappeared below the edge of the school outside your house. Venus will be back up tomorrow. If you look hard, it’s so bright, it can be seen in daylight. Take care and sorry for the lengthy response. It would have only been a breath around the fire. Bob

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  8. “reverse psychology” – seems like all else has failed, doesn’t it?! This reminds me of a book I read recently (Sebastian Junger: Tribe). He talks about people banding together, bonding and deeply caring for each other under the worst of circumstances (war, famine, disaster). That’s when we recreate the experience of tribalism that we no longer have anywhere else in our lives.

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    1. The re-creation of the experience of tribalism does happen under certain circumstances but it is not a reliable source of “comfort” for those who have become brainwashed victims of their ingrained belief systems and their technology. If you follow the European experience during and after WWII you find that the effects of tribalism which should have been evident based on the extreme sufferings endured by many people, simply did not happen because “civilization” did not collapse but reasserted itself, quickly followed by capitalistic consumerism. When I speak of this post WWII time it’s with some authority because I lived through it. For mutual support to happen on any kind of large scale you will have to experience the total collapse of civilization first, and a general return to basic survival fully in tune with nature’s ability to sustain such. Thus you will need a huge decrease in population with the gutting of most city life from general failure of the power grid’s unnatural and alien systems now taken so much for granted. In other words, before any return to mutually supporting tribalism the world of man must go through its bloody “ritual” of cleansing accompanied by massive deaths and horrors as yet never witnessed by history. That’s the part most people would rather not think about, believing that they can simply jump the gap, from totally self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish consumers to magically become caring, loving, supporting individuals filled with compassion for one-another and endowed with all the needed survival skills to live with nature. That does not happen. At this point, only the wise know mankind has past a point of no return and entered its time in the crucible. No one will escape it; in fact the “lucky” ones will be those who die early on, and quickly. The crimes against nature and against one-another throughout the rise, peak and now the downfall of a civilization sustained by military imperialism and gross exploitation and oppression must be paid for and that debt of “death energy” can only be paid for in blood. Blood for blood until balance is re-established between man and his temporary world.

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      1. Ah, Sha’Tara – on my worst days, I share your point of view, that we’ve gone past the point of no return in the way we treat the earth and the way we have allowed an elite to install a globalist agenda that will wipe out a vast portion of the world’s population. On a more upbeat day, I believe that our attempts to raise our own consciousness and live the best life we can, with compassion and kindness, are the only thing we can do. Can anyone live without hope?

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        1. Can anyone live without hope? Such a fascinating question. There are three “famous” virtues in the Christian N.T: faith, hope and love, and the writer concludes by claiming that the greatest of these is love. Is this true? When I “survey” man’s history, my own observations from this life, I conclude that isn’t true at all. Faith, hope and yes, love, have done more to mess with peoples’ minds than anything else! They are totally dis-empowering. Many decades ago, as I finally exited Christianity I rejected all three virtues in order to re-direct my life, replacing all with just one: compassion. Yes, anyone can live without hope because hope is misdirection. It keeps telling people that things can be what the obviously aren’t, and that’s living in denial. Faith does the same thing, and so does love. These are emotions, nothing more. If we knew for certain who we are, we wouldn’t need placebos to make life bearable, we would have the power to live our life with assurance that we are doing the right thing from self-empowerment. Our problems stem from not knowing ourselves and from relying on false information to define our individual lives. That’s what we need to change: we need to become enlightened enough to stand alone in detachment and self-empowerment. As long as we rely on fake help, we won’t make it, and we will continually fall back into the hands of psychopathic “gods” and leaders seeking our “perdition” for reasons of their own: it empowers them. A compassionate being knows how to walk between the worlds of matter and spirit, experiencing sorrow and joy as foundations of duality; never fears death; understands the infinite and eternal aspect of life and carries on “as if” their own life didn’t matter. Sorry, long explanation, but there is no easy way to express such things. Food for thought, perhaps?

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    2. Thank you so much for your thought-provoking comments, Annette. I’m glad that Sha’Tara responded before I had a chance. It’s true that people bond together in times of crises. I’ve also seen them bond together to work collectively in the process of creating something new that inspired them. In both cases, the bonds need to be continually renewed or they fall apart. Tribes or ethnic communities in the past had ties to each other and the land across many generations, so the ties were strong. Younger generations in our capitalistic globalized violent societies have been so effectively programmed to compete as individuals and/or nations (fictive tribes), it’s hard to remain united even before our goals are achieved, and even more difficult afterwards. I hope we can learn to care about each other in genuine, inclusive ways before we’re faced with crises…

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      1. This week, I am immersing myself in a program called “Strategies for Trauma Awareness and Resilience” which looks at all the layers of violence and trauma (individual, historical, systemic, collective, etc.) along with cycles of violence (how victim roles can turn into aggressor roles and cycle back again), and how to interrupt these cycles. It is fascinating to be in a room full of people who are all learning about this together so each can go back to their various organization/community/church, etc. to attempt to make a difference. I may write a blogpost about this later, after I’ve digested the material….

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  9. I am so glad you decided it wise to share this. My mother told me about a month ago right before inauguration: “we survived Reagan and the Vietnam War, we will survive this”. I was not alive for that war, and born during Reagan years, so I don’t really remember those times from a social political perspective and can’t compare. I asked my mother this week, who holds more experience than me and who I look to for wisdom, if the perils of our current time with unfolding corruption, bigotry, and despotism felt different than before. She replied yes it does. Sensing my fear and sorrow, she also told me we must hold strong to our belief in empathy, compassion, and equity. Glad to have her words of wisdom, and yours as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and for sharing your mother’s wisdom, Marahu. These times do appear to be worse than other times I’ve witnessed during my lifetime. Yet I think of the times my Ojibwe ancestors lived through and the times when African peoples were forced from their homelands and enslaved. As your mother wisely counsels, people survived in the past, and many remained loving and compassionate despite the incomprehensible brutality they needed to endure and overcome. We can do likewise.

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  10. Your words are the thoughts of many Carol. Thank you for putting pen to paper, giving all the opportunity to bear witness to what is and what should be. Will we keep trying to make the world a better place, yes, will we succede, I hope so. There is a quote that I read often it helps me in times of strife. It goes like this;
    “An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there’s a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy & truth. “The boy thought about this & asked, ‘Which wolf wins?'” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed”.
    Thank you for sharing your morning thoughts. xo

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    1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments, Patricia. I appreciate your kind words and wise insights. I agree that the crucial question you raised needs to guide us. “Will we keep trying to make the world a better place?” I also hope we will keep trying for the sake of all we hold dear and for the generations that follow. ❤

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