Category Archives: Reflections

Fourth Year Anniversary Reflections

Carol A. Hand

Yesterday, my blog turned four years old. I still wonder what led me to blogging. Initially I thought it was the stockpile of unpublished reflections and stories I wanted to share. They were stories based on a particular perspective as an outsider who wasn’t content with merely pointing out injustice and oppression. My work has always involved trying to solve puzzles and experiment with possible constructive solutions from a critical view. It seemed fitting to name my blog Voices from the Margins.

After a couple years, though, I ran out of those old reflections. So I began to experiment with different topics and ways to write. I also learned a little bit about photography using my old digital cameras. I kept blogging because of the dear friends I met here in the blogosphere. Although few of my original friends still blog, new friends have filled the void.

I have no illusions that my photos or blog posts are great works of art. But I do have fun creating them and sharing them with others.

On this anniversary, I wondered what comes next. I find myself re-engaging with the world a little more and taking on long-ignored home repair projects. The title of the blog still holds true, but perhaps the blurb about my blog needs a bit of updating. There are all kinds of issues I could write about from a critical frame, but so many others do that far better. What is less common are those who look both critically and gratefully at what is and ask how this informs practical everyday choices.

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January 30, 2018

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Increasingly, my posts are deliberately a little like the bright moon on a dark night peeking through tree branches. Reflected light that flows through me, meant to provide solace and encourage creative, peaceful, constructive, thoughts and actions in a time of darkness.

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Januray 30, 2018

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These days, though, like the moon, my presence is not always visible. I am woefully behind replying to comments and reciprocating visits to other’s blogs. I apologize. I will try to do a better job because your friendship and what you share matters. I am always touched by the work you do.

But I do become micro-focused, like yesterday, when I had intended to share this post and visit blogs. I became so intent on finishing my newest project, sanding an old window frame, that I failed to stop and see the beauty of the day. I only saw the birch tree lit by the sun in a clear blue sky after I took a photo to record my progress.

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Window Frame Repair in Progress

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Today, I will take time to thank you all for being an important presence in my life.
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Changing Landscapes

Carol A. Hand

On my way home after running errands
I looked toward my house while waiting
at the  s  l  o  w  e  s  t  traffic light in town
and decided to pull out my phone
(something I never do while driving)
to see if I could capture the winter scene below

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What is  now (looking north toward my house a block away) –

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My little hobbit house is hidden from view
by the weathered willow tree beyond the parking lot
and sheltered by pine, ash, crabapple, and white birch trees
Even here one can see evidence of nature’s beauty 
although what is now markedly contrasts with what used to be

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What used to be (looking north toward my cabin in late afternoon) –

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My cabin in the norhtwoods during another winter
Was a sanctuary surrounded by forest and wetlands
providing respite  for a while before life led me onward
to urban settings in prairies and mountains 
with just enough space to create gardens
both with plants, and metaphorically, with caring people

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Retirement meant a chance to start anew, again
with time for grandchildren and deep reflection
to live simply and heal a weary wounded spirit
grateful that teaching, writing, and gardening
help me re-engage and contribute in constructive ways
knowing that beauty can blossom in unexpected places

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September 30, 2017

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Humility of Being All We Are

Carol A. Hand

In times like these

when those in power

spread fear, hatred, divisiveness

and cruelty with impunity

I try to speak the truths I see

even though it may sound arrogant

judgmental, or self-aggrandizing

Sharing gifts that flow through me

does not make me “holier than thou”

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It takes courage to express the best we are

in moments of clarity

when we also see the darkness

that we carry deep within

It takes an unshakable belief in humanity

The certainty that all of us know better

and want to be better

That our spirits ultimately seek

to be one with the illuminating light

of as yet unrealized compassionate, inclusive

possibilities

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Winter Sun Breaking through Clouds – January 2018

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Textures

Carol A. Hand

As a child I sensed the world and universe in motion
singing in textures and colors I couldn’t name
The trees, the flowers, the tadpole pond, the rippling stream
called to my spirit and lit my heart with a glowing flame
So many called me a foolish deluded dreamer,
Wake up,” they’d say, “You need to play life’s game
The world is black and white, or sometimes shades of gray
Being different will make you mad so choose to be the same”

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Memorize, theorize, categorize and put on a facade
I tried to sing in conventional scales and color between the lines
but with spirit numbed I was only another empty fraud

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Senior Year High School Photo – 1965

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Singing with a rain-filled voice I found a healing grace
and accepted the gift of sensing textured colors anew
releasing the bonds of conformity in a liberating space
learning, though falteringly, to sing through what I choose to do

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Commune Life – 1973

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Reflections about Life

Carol A. Hand

I walk on my home world

the place of my birth

perhaps just for this life

perhaps only for this incarnation

not knowing where I came from

or where I’ll ultimately go

when I leave this place and a life

that has sometimes felt too long

and other times, so fragile and fleeting

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Photo of a Hawk’s Feather –  A Gift from a Former Student

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But while I am still here

let my spirit shine its song

Let me walk with peace and beauty

in my heart

as long as it continues beating

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Note:

This poem was inspired by a comment on my previous post from Maria KethuProfumo at Eternamenta.  I encourage you to visit her thought-provoking blog.

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Reflections – January 2, 2018

Carol A. Hand

Radiance

 

New Year’s Day Moon – 2018

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Super Moon on new year’s night

heralding times of growing light

As grievous fear and despair take flight

hopes for a brighter future reignite

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New Year’s Day Moon – 2018

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Wonder

 

Snowflakes – January 2, 2018

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The wonder of water

alive with transformative power

always in motion hour after hour

One moment a moist breath as trees transpire

the next a cloud, a snowflake, rain quelling fire,

frozen as an icicle and flowing in streams

giving form to ocean waves and resting in bays

endangered now in so many ways

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Cross River, MN – June 17, 2017

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Miraculous water, a life-giving force

but dangerous, too, sometimes raging

indiscriminately sweeping away all in its course

Perhaps we all deserve that final fate

unless we awake and act responsibly before it’s too late

 

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Surprises from My 2017 Blog Review

Carol A. Hand

So much has changed since I began this blog in February of 2014. It’s fascinating to look back on the past year, 2017, to discover the most visited posts. Most were originally posted during 2017, a year when the majority of the work I shared was poetry. The four most frequently viewed posts, though, were published earlier in my blogging adventure.

The top ten are listed below in ascending order.

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# 10.  Somedays I Wonder What Is True (February 1, 2017)

Wikipedia – Sky Over Washington Monument

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….A strange message passes through my mind as I greet the morning.

“I sent my children, prophets, to many nations. They walked the earth teaching peace and love, working miracles to show the power you have within to heal others and create beauty….”

 

# 9. Looking Up (July 2, 2017)

Carol A. Hand – photo by Jnana Hand

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…. Peace – I look up and stand steadfast, an elder

My spirit one with soaring eagles

knowing no matter what comes

I’m not standing alone ….

 

# 8. History Keeps Repeating (April 19, 2017)

Carlisle Indian Industrial School, Wikipedia photo

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…. As I work on editing the book manuscript I wrote about my research [on Ojibwe child welfare], I can’t help reflecting on our inability as a nation to learn from history….

A few days ago, the U.S bombed Afghanistan again with “the mother of all bombs.” Operation Enduring Freedom? Other choices are possible and far more likely to be successful if that really is the goal of U.S. international actions….

 

# 7. Integrity vs. Despair (March 30, 2017)

Dancer

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…. Each one of us who resists despair

adds a bit of light to the world….

 

# 6. Signs of These Times (February 11, 2017)

February 9, 2017

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…. Over the years, I have learned to view so many of you as beloved friends. I look forward to your posts and your kindness. I don’t know how many of you know that I always try to reciprocate. I try to return every visit to my blog with a like, and sometimes when I can find the words, a comment. I do take the time to read what you write before doing so….

 

# 5. Reflections about Then and Now (September 6, 2017)

Lake Superior Shore – 2017

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Let me take just a moment

to put aside the chaos of the world

seeping into my soul

Remembering ….

 

# 4. Context Matters when Teaching Diversity (January 6, 2015)

Photo Credit: Diversity Tree

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…. Final Thoughts. Critical self-awareness is an essential foundation for effective social justice work practice. Before one can “shift center” as Andersen and Collins (2004) recommend, one must be aware of one’s center. Yet critical self-awareness is but one of many steps in the complex, life-long process of understanding and embracing diversity. Relating to diversity is a multi-dimensional endeavor that involves seeing not only one’s position at present, but also reflecting on one’s experiences within the contexts of personal and world history, power differentials, and socially-constructed meanings of difference. It requires understanding one’s privileges and oppression. And it requires the courage to make mistakes and to look foolish, the grace to face conflict, and the desire to find common ground based on honoring the richness of others’ experiences and perspectives.

 

# 3. Circle the Wagons – The Natives Are Restless (January 1, 2014)

Wagon Train by C.C.A. Christensen – Wikipedia

…. I have tried to use Facebook periodically as a medium to heighten awareness about Native American issues, but invariably the superficiality of exchanges has convinced me that it’s a waste of my time. Yet there are occasions when I cannot refrain from commenting on blatant and dangerous information. The result, of course, is predictable. The wagons circle to protect the comforting illusions that expressing white guilt and denying any complicity for past atrocities is enough. The ultimate show stopper is to call the one Native voice “racist.” ….

 

# 2. The Fool’s Prayer (January 3, 2014)

Me playing the Jester in My Youth

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…. Presentation day was one of nervous anticipation for me. I was excited to share what I thought was an important message with my classmates. But my anxiety grew as I sat through the recitation of nursery rhymes and “Twinkle-twinkle little star.”

Oops,” I thought, “Maybe I made a mistake, but it’s too late now.” ….

 

# 1. When You Think of “Health” What Comes to Mind? (March 6, 2015)

Carol A. Hand – Community-University Partnership – 2007

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…. One of the participants prophetically predicted the outcome of this hopeful project.

“Power sources are experts at turning us against each other, then they walk right over us. We are all like a circle, the non-profits working for Indian people. I try to tell people that the money-people toss a dollar bill in the middle and we all scramble for it. And I tell people we cannot do that anymore. When the money-people throw the dollar bill into the center of the circle we have to say “NO.” We must lock arms in the circle and ask for something more. We need to improve all of our lives, not just a handful of our lives. If we could just all get on the same page. It’s not about who is in charge – we are equals. But the power sources would prefer to have us at each other’s throats.”

Sadly, those in power at the county and federal levels were able to divide the community….

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I am deeply grateful to all of my virtual friends who have been with me throughout the years, and appreciative for newer friends and followers. You have all enriched my life. I am excited to see what the coming year will bring. I send my blessings and wish to say chi miigwetch to all (Ojibwe “Thank you very much”).

 

Cold

Carol A. Hand

Cold-compressed

wind-sculpted snow

sparkling

beneath sun’s winter glow

frosty views

as I peer below

so-o-o-o grateful

there’s no place

I need to go

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A view from above – December 30, 2017

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Note:

We are still living with frigid temperatures and wind chill warnings. Today the high is -6 F (-21 C). Tonight, the forecast is – 18 F (-27 C). Until I moved here, I didn’t really pay attention to wind chill warnings. But the winds are fierce on this side of Lake Superior. Now, I listen to the warnings.

“Dangerously cold wind chills are expected. The dangerously cold wind chills will cause frostbite to exposed skin in as little as 10 minutes. Expect wind chills to range from 25 below zero to 45 below zero.” (National Weather Service)

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Reflections from a Past December

Carol A. Hand

During the past week, I have been reviewing some of my December posts from past years. Many carry important messages that I have decided to share again. Following is a reflection posted on December 12, 2013. Not much has changed for the better in my neighborhood or the world since then.

A view from my back step – December 16, 2017

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Communities of Relatedness

 

Sitting on my back doorstep as I greeted yet another snowy morning, I was reflecting on my most recent neighborhood. West Duluth, the working class part of town. The side of town where the industries – manufacturing and paper mills – send plumes of putrid exhaust into the air. Some days the winds blow it eastward toward the lake, away from the children in my neighborhood who are walking to school or out on the school playgrounds. On the days the winds blow westward, I know it’s unwise to take more than very shallow breaths. Mine is the side of town where only those with few resources are able to find housing, the side of town where parents without choices send their children to schools with fewer resources and amenities. Even if I had more financial resources, I suspect I would still choose to live here, even though people in my neighborhood are not especially sociable – they’re too busy just trying to survive.

Perhaps it’s foolish of me, but I prefer to live in an old house that needs lots of work, with an overgrown yard that needs tending, on the side of town with the most diversity. So many people in the world live with far less. And it is the things that need transformation that attract my attention and inspire my creativity. I suspect it’s because of a different cultural frame. I don’t feel a sense of allegiance to the symbols of “nationhood” – fictive notions of fraternity – of us against the world. Instead, I realized this morning that I feel a sense of responsibility to people and my environment, not just Ojibwe people, but all my relations.

I have had the privilege of working for a state developing policies and programs for elders, and then working at the community level implementing and evaluating programs and policies for families and children. What I observed was a fundamental disconnect between policies developed by experts from a dominant cultural paradigm, what I refer to as “collectivities of strangers” like the residents of Duluth, and communities that were based on the foundation of enduring relationships. Raising the awareness of policy developers and academics to the importance of this distinction is not an easy task. So I have shifted my efforts to try to raise the awareness of students who will hopefully become the policy and program developers of the future.

From an indigenous perspective, the centrality of relationships is apparent. Tribal communities are characterized by centuries of enduring close family and community relationships among members and their natural environment, and members anticipate the continuation of these bonds for generations yet to come. The legalistic, impersonal approach used by the dominant Euro-American social welfare and judicial systems can best be characterized as “a collectivity of strangers,” designed to keep strangers from killing each other. As Jared Diamond (1997, Guns, Germs, and Steel) argues,

… the organization of human government tends to change … in societies with more than a few hundred members … [as] the difficult issue of conflict resolution between strangers becomes increasingly acute in larger groups…. Those ties of relationship binding all tribal members make police, laws, and other conflict-resolving institutions of larger societies unnecessary, since any two villagers getting into an argument will share many kin, who will apply pressure on them to keep it from becoming violent. (p. 171)

What this means for the sense of responsibility members feel toward each other from these contrasting cultural paradigms can be simplistically illustrated.

Community of Relatedness                   Collectivity of Strangers

Source
Source

 

 

 

 

 

What these distinctions mean for children can be described simplistically as well.

As I contemplate these contrasts this morning, I need to ground the philosophical questions in my present lived experience. Fortunately for my neighborhood, the gentle wind is blowing in from the west this morning, leaving the air clean and sweet. It was safe to take deep breaths and contemplate the possibility of building a sense of community that recognizes the importance of protecting the health of all our relations. In doing so, however, I am mindful that my privilege of breathing clean air this morning doesn’t mean the world is fair. The factories that provide jobs for people in my neighborhood are still sending forth poison plumes. It is others who are downwind who must breathe shallowly today. They are both strangers to me in one sense, and relatives in another. The challenge I contemplate is how to reach out to them so we can begin to work collectively to create a community that is healthy every day for all of our relations.

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